Masterson faces 45 years to life in state prison if convicted as charged

The incidents happened 17-19 years ago, but the prosecution insists that the statute of limitations excludes crimes of this nature. That may be right, but proving a case to a jury beyond a reasonable doubt is an ambitious prosecution for crimes that happened two decades ago.

Presidential debate

Weekend Update

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Chris Rock’s monologue


 

Other sketches:

The Drew Barrymore Show

News anchors (Heidi Gardner, Mikey Day) report on a COVID-19 superspreader event. (That’s the official description. This is really about people who want to change their names, and the skit is filled with various raunchy lines like the female anchor saying, “I hope you can find Mike Litt later”)

Stunt performers (Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant, Mikey Day, Chris Redd, Ego Nwodim) plea with everyone to take precautions against COVID-19 so they can return to work.

Women (Megan Thee Stallion, Maya Rudolph, Aidy Bryant, Heidi Gardner, Chloe Fineman, Lauren Holt, Punkie Johnson) compete to get drafted into the NBA bubble.

A ghost (Chris Rock) visits a teenager (Kyle Mooney) to warn him about his future.

A group of rappers (Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd, Pete Davidson) perform a song about wanting to see their girlfriends’ (Megan Thee Stallion, Ego Nwodim) faces.

Mac Davis, the writer of Elvis Presley’s “In the Ghetto” and a former ACM Entertainer of the Year winner, has died. He was 78 years old.

He wrote several hits.

He also used his considerable reservoir of laid-back country charm to become a likable actor as well. He was cast well when he made his movie debut as a fictionalized version of Don Meredith in North Dallas Forty.

Helen Reddy, also 78, is most famous for having popularized the feminist anthem “I Am Woman,” but she was no one-trick pony. She had more than a dozen “top 40” hits back in the 70s.

A controversy has arisen recently when Jeopardy clearly, without any doubt, made an incorrect ruling on its Final Jeopardy answer. No big deal there. People make mistakes. The big deal is that they have stubbornly lied to cover up their mistake, even weaving the sainted Alex Trebek into their lies.

A contestant listed her answer as “Barry Gordy” instead of of the correct “Berry Gordy.” By their own rules, this is clearly a correct answer, with no possible other interpretation.

Their rule says:

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Their recent ruling not only contradicts their own rules, but also appears to be inconsistent with all of their past interpretations of those rules.

Nobody can seem to figure out why they have not issued an apology, and that becomes even more mysterious when you realize that the ruling did not determine the daily winner. (I.e., if the contestant had been deemed to have given a correct answer, she still would not have won.)

They (including Trebek) are stubbornly holding to this response: “When a contestant adds incorrect information to an otherwise correct response, they are ruled incorrect.” That is just as ludicrous as their original ruling, in fact even more so, since nothing has been added, so it’s not only incorrect, but also irrelevant. If the contestant had answered “Barrie Gordy,” they might conceivably (but still incorrectly, by their own rule 5) have ruled that the contestant added information in the form of extra letters, but no such thing occurred. Nothing was added. The contestant merely transposed an “a” and an “e.”

Jeopardy has always held its head high as a bastion of reason and intelligence, but we seem to live in a world where nobody can ever admit they were wrong, no matter how obvious their error.

Report from Toronto:

“About three quarters of the way into Ammonite, Kate Winslet enters a well-lit bedroom where Saoirse Ronan is lying in bed. Kate joins Saoirse in bed and the two start making out. Saoirse then starts kissing Kate’s left breast and soon has her hand down between Kate’s legs but nothing is shown. Kate then lifts up Saoirse’s nightgown a bit so we can maybe see some bush. It’s pretty dark and shadowy so possibly a merkin. We do see Kate put her hand between Saoirse’s legs briefly. Kate then removes her own nightgown while Saoirse puts her head between Kate’s legs and performs oral sex. We see Kate’s breasts and just the top of her very hairy bush when Saoirse moves her head away for a brief second. Saoirse then climbs on top of Kate’s face and we see part of her butt. Saoirse then proceeds to remove her own nightgown and we get a couple of views of her butt and Kate’s breasts as Kate is going to town. Kate then reaches down and touches herself between her legs and we see more of her bush. This is interspersed with close-ups of Saoirse’s face as she is in ecstasy. Finally, we see Saoirse’s right breast briefly as she climbs off of Kate. We can also get a tiny peek at Saoirse’s left breast as well as maybe a hint of bush or merkin. There are a couple of quick views of Kate’s breasts as they embrace while the scene ends.”


From the comments: A classic Diana Rigg scene you will want to see. Diana as the Queen of Sin from the TV Avengers episode “A Touch of Brimstone.” Sample below.



It appears that as the lawyers were battling, the judge stepped down from his perch and hit the wrestlers’ lawyer over the head with a chair.

Ironically, he caused brain damage.

Among the plaintiffs were Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Joseph “Road Warrior Animal” Laurinaitis, Paul “Mr. Wonderful” Orndorff, Chris “King Kong Bundy” Pallies and Harry Masayoshi Fujiwara, known as Mr. Fuji.”

Snuka and Fuji are dead. Both had advanced cases of CTE. Bundy is also dead.

Since 1982 the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest has challenged participants to write an atrocious opening sentence to a hypothetical bad novel.

“She sauntered into his smoke-filled office with legs that, although they didn’t go quite all the way to heaven, definitely went high enough for him to see that she was a giraffe.”

“Handsome French policeman, Andre Poiret, grappled with the puffed-up albino hitman, who was about to shoot the beautiful high-class call girl, Gigi Lamour, who was taking a shower in her apartment, with his big gun.”

“When Sir John of York fought in the crusades, he killed many Saracens with great dispatch, and was likened unto a whirling dervish of steel and Christian might—minus the dizziness from constantly spinning in a circle, and the fact that he was on a horse that couldn’t do that.”

In addition to the Black Panther, he also played Jackie Robinson, James Brown and Thurgood Marshall.

The wizard Gandalf told Frodo, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Boseman was given little time, but decided well and did much.

Take your pick

Melania Knauss, from the French MAX magazine, January, 1997, as photographed by Alé de Basse­ville.

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or Jackie O, caught by paparazzi in November of 1972

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You may find this article interesting. “Aristotle Onassis (her husband) Allegedly “Arranged for” the Paparazzi to Take Nude Photos of Jackie Kennedy. Their marriage was complicated, to say the least.”

Excerpt:

By the end of 1972, things had turned ugly between Jackie and Ari. Gillon wrote that Jackie “regularly overspent her monthly allowance and then pleaded for more money.” In retaliation, Onassis would leak stories to the press about said spending habits. But the most egregious shot was fired that November when Aristotle “arranged for photographers to take photos of [Jackie] sunbathing nude on Skorpios — photos that made their way into Larry Flynt’s pornographic magazine Hustler.”