If we were to give a lifetime achievement award for filmed nudity, who would be the very first recipient?

Winslet?

Connelly?

Kinski?

Bellucci?

Mirren?

Cotillard?

Green?

Moore?

Gemser?

Kidman?

Fenech?

Jolie?

Kristel?

Russ Meyer?

Jesus Franco?

Tinto Brass?

Uncle Scoopy?

other?’

Here is an interesting supplement to the discussion: “Actors And Actresses Who Spend The Most Screen Time Nude.” I have no idea whether it is accurate or who they chose to exclude. I take it that it’s just A-listers (or close), but in that case Emmanuelle Beart should qualify, as she spent more time naked in one film (La Belle Noiseuse) than any of those actresses have done in their entire careers. And how did Kate Winslet not make the list?

It would probably be more accurate to say “new music is killing new music,” but …

“The 200 most popular new tracks now regularly account for less than 5 percent of total streams. That rate was twice as high just three years ago. Old songs now represent 70 percent of the U.S. music market. Even worse: The new-music market is actually shrinking.”

“The declining TV audience for the Grammy show underscores this shift. In 2021, viewership for the ceremony collapsed 53 percent from the previous year—from 18.7 million to 8.8 million. It was the least-watched Grammy broadcast of all time. A decade ago, 40 million people watched the Grammy Awards.”

With many of the public figures that we note the passing of, our reaction is “Why did they die so soon?” We may even experience denial or disbelief, and have to read the report at several sources before we consider it credible. Guys like Norm Macdonald and Bob Saget just seemed like they had a lot more laughs left in them, and they even looked too young to die. Even fuckin’ Screech, although we were through with him, seemed to have decades of mileage left on his tires.

That’s not true of Louie. In fact, I thought the opposite when I read the headlines: “How the hell did that guy ever live to be 68?” If you compare him to male celebrities of a comparable generation and body heft, his longevity was downright miraculous. John Candy was just a bit older than Louis, and Chris Farley was a decade younger, but they left us long ago. That said, don’t get me wrong. I loved the guy, as did so many others. He seemed like a kind and gentle soul, and I certainly didn’t want him to die.

I was just surprised that it took so long.

Other inappropriate remarks:

  • If the Grim Reaper just had to claim two obese, 70ish guys this week, I guess I was willing to accept Mr. Loaf as one of them, but Louis Anderson would not have been among my choices.
  • It is surely a demonstration of the power of cancer, that it could get this guy before he died of heart disease, lung disease or diabetes.

image host

Mr. Loaf was 74. Mr. Loaf’s main collaborator, songwriter/producer Jim Steinman, just died a few months ago.

The first Bat out of Hell album is one of the top-selling albums in history (14 million or more)

I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That), from Bat II, reached #1 on the singles chart in 28 countries.

Mr. Loaf’s real name was Marvin Aday, but he changed it because he wanted to make it on his own rather than riding on the coattails of his brother, One, the famous vitamin magnate.

By the way, there is no truth to the rumor that Mr. Loaf left behind instructions that he should be stuffed and mounted, like Trigger the Wonder Horse. And I should know. I started the rumor.

That reminds me of the grief and shock I felt after that one episode of Roy Rogers where Trigger the Wonder Horse stomped Bullet the Wonder Dog to death.

Apparently there is a lot of jealousy in the wonder beast community.

That’s right, apparently Paltrow learned what to do with the anaconda d’amour when she was 18. I’m actually kinda surprised to hear that she knows even now. She seems like the kind that would hire a surrogate to do that for her.

“Rob Lowe’s wife, Sheryl Berkoff, taught an 18-year-old Gwyneth Paltrow how to perform oral sex.”

The book, her second, was published in 2016.

“Now more commonly remembered for her quite brilliant breakthrough acting performance in the Safdie Brothers’ 2019 film Uncut Gems, work that ultimately earned her a nomination for the Breakthrough Actor Award at the 2019 Gotham Awards, Fox has been tirelessly ploughing away in the real of artistic expression for years, often attempting to find new ways of representing herself in various creative formats.”

Examples

More examples

Some similar images are found in another book of hers, Heartburn/Nausea. For example, this.

—-

Complicated woman:

“13 Things You Should Know” about her.

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE BONNIE PARKER OF PHOTOGRAPHY, JULIA FOX” (2016)

Just for discussion, of course.

The list excludes:

Duck Soup
The Big Lebowski
Blazing Saddles
Spinal Tap
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Life of Brian
Borat

That said, I’m OK with leaving in There’s Something About Mary, Airplane and Ground Hog Day.

Honorable mention:

Bananas
Take The Money and Run
Ace Ventura
The Royal Tenenbaums
Night at the Opera
Animal House
Napoleon Dynamite
The Naked Gun
The Producers (original version)
The Mask

Dwayne Hickman has passed away at 87

Dobie Gillis was my favorite show back in the day, and one of my projects in the early COVID months was to binge-watch all four seasons of Dobie. The show gave us two things to remember. The first is one of the most memorable and beloved characters in TV history, the dumb but lovable Maynard G. Krebs, a clueless beatnik played by a pre-Gilligan Bob Denver – and played very well, indeed, with just the right combination of slapstick, pathos and clever wordplay. The second legacy of “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis” was the women who played those many loves. You must certainly remember Tuesday Weld if you are of the age, because she was spectacularly sexy and appeared in many episodes as the unattainable Thalia Menninger. You may not remember some of the honest-to-god real actresses who spent part of their youth being pursued by Dobie and inevitably dumping him, like Ellen Burstyn and Sally Kellerman.

It must have been a complete surprise. He was on the first 2022 date of an extended tour. You might say his act killed!

You know that Bob played a typical TV dad in a wholesome TV show. You may not realize that other comics consider him one of the funniest stand-ups and the absolute filthiest.

He was a legitimate film scholar, and his directorial career got off to a tremendous start, but the combination of his arrogance and some career flops eventually consigned him to a kind of Hollywood oblivion where he was respected for his former achievements, but not frequently sought for collaboration.

One of the oddest elements of his life was his relationship with playmate-turned-actress Dorothy Stratten and her much younger sister, Louise. His affair with the married, 20-year-old Dorothy contributed to her demise at the hands of her jealous estranged husband, then his affair with Louise resulted in their wedding when he was 49, she 20.

“Seldom has Hollywood built someone up and then thrown him aside more quickly than Klinton Spilsbury. This is a tough town, but he got a kind of instant dose of just how cruel it can be. Must’ve been incredibly difficult. If I’d been in his shoes, I might’ve stopped acting, too.”

There is really nobody to compare Spilsbury to. George Lazenby, like Spilsbury, got only one shot at an iconic lead role in a big-budget film. But Lazenby merely screwed up his chance at international superstardom. He was a successful actor before and after his turn as 007. Spilsbury, in contrast, was completely unknown when he was cast – and never worked again. To make matters worse, his voice never appeared in the film at all. The filmmakers were so disappointed with his line readings that they hired James Keach to dub the entire role.

The only kinda-sorta comparable person I can think of is Kurt Thomas, the gymnast who tried to become an actor. He got the lead in Gymkata, then faded back into the athletic world. But two significant things make him different from Spilsbury:

(1) he was an athlete trying to act and failing. Spilsbury was an actor trying to act and failing.

(2) Gymkata was not a high-profile film, and Thomas’s role was not one that was coveted by all of Hollywood.

Spider-Man: No Way Home scores the second-best domestic opening in cinematic history with a $260 million domestic haul.

(Endgame, in the #1 spot, is perched unassailably high on the chart.)

Other key facts:

  • It is the best December opening in history.
  • Ol’ Spidey nearly tripled the previous pandemic-era record for an opening weekend, which was held by Venom: Let There Be Carnage with a mere $90M.

NYC is in the midst of a massive wave of COVID, reportedly including some cast members. The show went on, but with a skeleton crew, no audience, and no musical guest. It was basically just Paul Rudd, Tom Hanks, Michael Che, Tina Fey and Kenan Thompson for the entire show. (Hanks and Fey welcomed Rudd to the Five-Timers Club.) Che referenced the fact that the actual cast members in attendance were 100% black.

Weekend Update consisted of the Che and Fey show, with the two anchors sitting on folding chairs, sans desk. The other three people mentioned above acted as a makeshift audience.

It was fortunate that they had quite a few taped segments to pad out some time, and they filled out the rest of the show with vintage clips.

The New York Post reported

A set insider has revealed that “four actors” have tested positive for coronavirus — and “three others” have called out because they are now “fearful” about coming to NBC Studios at 30 Rockefeller Center, where the weekly sketch show is filmed in Midtown.

You probably know him as a Monkee, but he was a pretty fair songwriter. His “Different Drum” helped rocket Linda Ronstadt to fame.

Mickey Dolenz, the last living Monkee, Tweeted for all of us:

“The holiday season is a time when people all around the world pause from their hectic daily lives to participate in cherished holiday traditions that have been handed down from generation to generation, no matter how stupid they are. But for sheer stupidity, no holiday tradition can compare with our annual Holiday Gift Guide. This is a curated collection of unique gift ideas that we painstakingly select via a ‘vetting’ process that can take us as long as 10 minutes, including a five-minute snack break. Every item in this guide is a real product that you can, for whatever depraved reason, actually buy. We know this because we personally purchased all of these items with the Miami Herald’s money, such as it is.”