There are two things about this that amazed me.

1. I never dreamed he might still be alive. He seemed to be on every game and panel show in the 50s, but I probably haven’t thought about him in 60 years, so he seemed like something from the ancient past. Actually, that’s wrong. I do give a passing thought to him every Christmas when I hear a certain famous song, and remember how my little sister used to mis-hear the lyrics as:

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Orson Bean

2. He was not claimed by disease or old age. He died doing a crazy stunt with those “Jackass” guys. OK, I’m kidding about that, but he did die in an auto accident. I’m going to guess that wasn’t the favored betting line.

Robert Conrad, Star of TV’s ‘The Wild Wild West,’ Dies at 84

Best opening/closing credit sequences of its era:

Two minor things I remember about that show (which I found very entertaining):

1. Jim West’s wardrobe got me interested in wearing fancy vests that complemented but did not exactly match my suits, and that became my own signature “look” until I retired.

2. Ross Martin’s disguises always looked exactly like Ross Martin wearing cheap stage make-up, and the voice was always instantly recognizable. He was truly the master of deception! The name of his character was Artemis Gordon, and when he showed up in his cheap Halloween disguises, I always expected the villains to say “Oh, hi Arty!” (But apparently Dr. Loveless wasn’t the genius he claimed to be, because he never could see through that transparent artifice.) My theater friends and I used this as an insult. “Do I really look like a realistic old man?” “Hell, no. It looks like Ross Martin did your make-up.”

He was the last man standing of all the great stars of another time.”

And a great star he was, and sometimes a great social justice warrior, although his personal life was (allegedly) sometimes not so heroic.

Years ago I saw him tell an interviewer that his favorite Kirk Douglas film was “Lonely are the Brave,” a low-budget modern Western that has never received much attention, but was a damned good choice.

“It’s from a 2015 couples therapy session in which Amber purportedly confesses to physically abusing Johnny.”

I doesn’t seem that there’s any “purportedly” involved. The tapes are almost professional quality, so Heard can be heard clearly, and the link above has a full hour-long conversation between them. If you don’t have the patience for that, here’s a brief but significant sample:

Amber has had other domestic violence issues in the past.

There was only one upset I could see, relative to the expected Oscar winners. Greta Gerwig is expected to win the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, but the BAFTA went to Taika Waititi. I would have made the same call. I have not read the book (“Caging Skies”), but it’s obvious that he did an amazing job of creating a heartfelt comedy from a bleak story.

With unintentional irony, Joaquin Phoenix called out the BAFTAs for racism on the same night they gave both screenwriting awards to deserving non-whites. Taika Waititi is a double minority – non-white and Jewish. And as for Bong Joon-ho … well, that doesn’t sound like a Norwegian name to me.

Here is my proposed rule for all the film and TV academies: award winners can make all the woke speeches they want, as long as they are specific. If you think Greta Gerwig should have been nominated as the best director, you have to specify which of the five nominees she should have replaced. Mendes, Phillips and Bong Joon-ho obviously deserve nominations, so if you have the balls to piss off Scorsese or Tarantino, have at it. Same deal if you think Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphy, Awkwafina or J-Lo should have been nominated. This will show that (1) you have some cojones and (2) that you have actually given the matter some thought and are not just mouthing bromides for the politically correct.

And yes, I would throw out Pacino or Pesci to nominate Jamie (for example). In fact, you can toss them both out and give the fifth nomination to somebody else, of color or otherwise. A decent choice would be either the little kid or Sam Rockwell in JoJo Rabbit, but those are just two that come to mind immediately. You can probably name a dozen people who deserved those nominations more than Pesci and Pacino and there are probably non-whites on your list.

It seems to me that the recipe for inclusiveness in nominations is simply to expand the number of nominees in each category. There is no magic significance to the number five. Make it ten. More people can claim to be Oscar nominees. More films can claim to have earned Oscar nominations. Where is the downside to that?

21 points in the 4th quarter.

The Super Bowl was the third post-season game they won after trailing by double digits. The Chiefs started the post season by falling behind the Texans 24-0. A Super Bowl victory seemed unlikely at that point, which makes it sweeter now.

The Onion’s take: “Victorious Patrick Mahomes Thanks Bears For Drafting Mitchell Trubisky

All the 2020 Super Bowl commercials are here.

Yesterday I watched the last of the nine Best Picture nominees.

I would rank them as follows, based purely on how much I admired them, not on their likelihood of winning:

1917
Parasite
JoJo Rabbit
Ford vs Ferrari
Little Women
One Upon a Time in Hollywood
The Irishman
Marriage Story
Joker

I liked some other movies better than some of the nominees, but I didn’t like any film more than 1917. It’s not just a brilliantly designed and executed movie, but also a thrill ride. I was on the edge of my seat for pretty much every minute of that flick – and I was absolutely dazzled by several of the scenes.

Parasite is also very impressive and original.

I liked Little Women very much. I liked they way it interpreted Alcott’s characters, and I also liked the changes it introduced. But … I watched it with several women who have forgotten the book, having read it long ago from their high school summer reading lists, and they could not follow it. I was constantly having to pause to answer questions. “Now how old are they here?” “Does this scene happen before or after that one where …?” The script definitely has some problems with the time shifts, because a story originally written for juvenile readers should not confuse a bunch of adult women with graduate degrees, especially when they have already read the book. Since Greta Gerwig was doubly responsible for that as both author and director, I understand fully why the Academy passed her over for the best director Oscar. For the same reason, I don’t even think she should have received the nomination for best adapted screenplay – and she’s the favorite to win that one!

(I can’t fairly judge this confusion because I do so much homework before watching a film. I didn’t actually re-read Little Women and Good Wives, but I brought myself completely up to speed by reading a full synopsis of their plots, several short bios of Alcott, and some critiques of her books. As a result, none of the time shifts bothered me, and I was able to appreciate how Gerwig approached the project. But I also hear what my friends were saying.)

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IMDb voters rank them as follows:

Joker
Parasite
1917
Ford vs Ferrari
Marriage Story
Little Women
JoJo Rabbit
The Irishman
One Upon a Time in Hollywood

The bookies see it like this:

1917
Parasite
One Upon a Time in Hollywood
Joker
The Irishman
JoJo Rabbit
Marriage Story
Little Women
Ford vs Ferrari

Note that Parasite is second on all three lists. It may turn out to be the dark horse in the race.

I don’t know of any nudity, but Erinn Hayes and Natalie Emmanuel look “mah-velous” (and apparently get very friendly).

Props to Josh Lawson. He’s an Aussie, but I watched him for years on House of Lies, and never doubted that he was an American until he was chosen to play Paul Hogan in that mini-series.

Playing Hoges? Man, you can’t get more Australian than that without actually fucking a wallaby.

The marvelous Terry Jones has left us. Everyone sing along with Eric Idle:

For many of us, Jones represented a glorious, madcap part of our youth. In addition to his performances, he directed (or co-directed) two of the best comedy films ever conceived: Life of Brian and Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He also co-wrote and co-starred in those films. He’s the Welsh Mel Brooks – with a degree from Oxford as a sweetener.

“If you’re dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don’t worry too much about the myrrh next time.”

OK, Downey has had a great career. He’s entitled to screw up once in a while.

Some reviews:

“Zero stars. Everyone knows that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. Less well known is the adage: ‘You can’t publish a movie review that is entirely blank.'”

“Just when I thought Dolittle couldn’t get any less funny or idiotic, Robert Downey Jr. sticks his arms up a dragon’s asshole. And I do mean that literally.”

“There’s got to be a moment, as an actor watches himself on-screen pulling bagpipes out of a CGI dragon’s rear end, that he thinks, ‘Have I really fallen this far?'”

“Dolittle believes a vicious tiger named Barry getting kicked in the groin by a gorilla and exclaiming ‘Oh, my Barry berries!’ is the height of humor.”

“… like horse dung, with few laughs and no charm.”

“an unwatchable circus.”

“overproduced, charmless, tone-deaf misfire”

“Holzhauer, who seemed poised to beat Jennings at the end of Tuesday’s match, missed a Shakespeare-themed clue on Final Jeopardy and lost all the points he had accumulated in the second game.”

Rutter didn’t impress in the tournament, but those other two guys were freakin’ unreal. They are not only filled with info, but they are capable of producing it instantly.

Information we received from a trusted source of the community … was found to be FALSE!

At Other Crap we strive to keep you posted about everyone who is not dead. Here for your convenience, is a list of the other seven and a half billion living earthlings:

Ahe Aaaloa
Aaron Aab
Abie Aab

Continue reading “Contrary to earlier reports, Julie Strain is not dead”

And so affordable for the average woman:

The lacquered bustier — retail value: $15,000 — encases the wearer’s chest to form a layer of protection. But unlike more traditional, less fashion-y armor, it’s done in a hot-pink hue and looks more like molded plastic than iron or steel.

I went to school with a guy named Boob Plate. If he’s still alive, this is his time. Of course, he preferred to be called “Bob pla-TAY.”

Burt played Robin in the 1960’s Batman show.

“Actor claimed his bulge was considered ‘too large for television’

Yeah, my dick is too large, that’s the ticket.

Ward continued …

“I was a straight-A student at UCLA. In fact, the Dean at UCLA was upset with me when I left in my third year to do Robin because she said I should have been a nuclear physicist.”

Yeah, my brain is even larger than my dick, that’s the ticket.

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If Ward is not currently satisfied with his employment status, it strikes me that he would make an excellent press secretary for you-know-who.

Kidding aside, when I saw this pic listed in the Post’s obits, I was shocked at the death of Tom Hanks. So it’s a strange death for poor Neal Peart, because I was relieved that he died (rather than Hanks).

RIP to Rush’s drummer, who was much more than a drummer. He was also an accomplished lyricist, and authored several books, encompassing both fiction and non-fiction.

A short .gif of JJL in The Prom (1992)

I’ve been doing this celebrity nudity schtick for a quarter of a century. I love films. I’m a fan of Jennifer Jason Leigh. Despite all of that, I have never heard of this movie or seen this nude scene.

One of our visitors has found the entire film in approximately VHS quality on YouTube

This had to have been a low point in her career, because (1) the rest of the cast consists of nobodies, (2) the film is only 49 minutes long (per IMDb) and (3) the plot summary is preposterous:

“Marty is not comfortable showing his body at college or private. He is suffering from a skin disease called nevus flammeus. In town he stumbles on The Dunes, a porn-shop-theme-park with one booth named “The Prom.” This is where Lana works. Marty likes Lana.”

The imaging legend that is Brainscan assembled these looks at Sarah Miles in The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing


image host image host

The “man” in the title was played by Burt Reynolds, who is probably best remembered as a loquacious man, quick with a quip. Uncharacteristically, he plays it completely straight here as a humorless, laconic cowboy. It seems that this cowboy, Jay Grobart by name, will do anything to reclaim his half-Shoshone children who were cared for by their mother’s tribe while Jay was in prison for murdering the man who raped and killed his wife, the titular Cat Dancing.

As the story begins, Jay has turned into a train robber who needs a suitable amount of money to repay the Shoshone man who has been caring for the two parentless children. As Jay and his gang make their escape from a highly lucrative heist ($100,000 – roughly equivalent to $2 million 2014 dollars. What a train!), they stumble upon a cultured, somewhat prissy housewife named Katherine Crocker (Sarah Miles), who is running away from her wealthy but cruel husband, a dandy who happens to sport a helluva salon tan, since the actor playing him is George Hamilton.

Sarah Miles alone was sufficient to make any film shoot interesting, as much for her antics off-screen as on. You probably know about her extracurricular hanky-panky with Kris Kristofferson while filming a movie called The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea in 1976. They enjoyed their sex scenes in that movie so much that they staged some additional ones for a Playboy pictorial. Kristofferson’s wife, Rita Coolidge, was not impressed by their devotion to the craft, and ended the marriage soon after, a development which Kris professed to regret deeply. Sarah engaged in similar shenanigans on the set of Cat Dancing. During the shoot, her personal assistant and secret lover, David Whiting, was found dead in his hotel room under mysterious circumstances. The resulting investigation and the attendant publicity served to expose the affair between the actress and her assistant, which ultimately broke the back of her marriage to Robert Bolt, a highly respected playwright (A Man for All Seasons) and screenwriter (Lawrence of Arabia).

Movie (and source novel) comments after the jump

Continue reading “Two more nostalgic collages – Sarah Miles”