Are you Americans prepared for the upcoming pelt shortage?
The United States and Canada are preparing to issue a joint statement in the next 24 to 48 hours to suspend non-essential travel between the two countries, a Trump administration official says https://t.co/rSYyCd3dc6
Read that again carefully, because it’s even stranger than you think. Ayres works as a Zamboni driver and area maintenance worker for the Toronto Maple Leafs’ AHL affiliate, the Toronto Marlies, but he played AGAINST the Leafs, after having been loaned to the other team – and he essentially beat his own employers.
(This seems to be SOP in hockey, as I understand it. This is all new to me, but I just read that every game has a designated emergency goalie, provided by the home team, but available to either team in case both of their roster goalies are incapacitated in the same game.)
I feel like such a failure. I go to Canada every year for either the Toronto or the Montreal jazz festival, and yet I have never seen a beaver or a moose there. I’m pretty sure the Canadians are hiding them just to teach me a lesson of some kind.
To me the most Canadian thing I experience is having to pay the roadway tolls in pelts. If you’re taking a long trip and have a small car with little room for spare furs, you have to keep stopping at a currency store to exchange more Greenbacks. Then it’s so hard to stuff those pelts into the container at the unmanned toll booths. I still prefer those to the manned booths, though. I always get cheated there. The last time I drove the QEW, the toll was a beaver pelt and I didn’t have exact change, so I gave them a moose, and they only gave me two hooves for change. Everyone knows the rate is three. Fucking hosers.