If you are a baby boomer, there’s a very good chance he was one of your idols in high school or college, and you probably remember him vividly, although he really hasn’t performed in about 50 years, with some brief exceptions for charitable causes.
In my corridor of the freshman dorms, perhaps half of the guys had at least ten of Lehrer’s songs memorized. Since we all came from different parts of the world, our slowly discovered mutual love for Lehrer’s satire was part of our bonding experience, perhaps the largest part. Jocks and nerds, intellectuals and frat boys found that they had Lehrer in common, and that led to some guys forming otherwise unlikely lifetime friendships.
“With November 3 hurtling at us at an immense pace, you may think we have bigger fish to fry than a potential first lady body double, but you’d be wrong. Forget coronavirus conspiracies, there is only one that matters today. And that is the very legitimate and not at all ridiculous return of Fake Melania right when we needed her.”
The petition is signed by such notable experts as Dr. Johnny Bananas, Dr. I.P. Freely, and Dr. Person Fakename.
Doctor Dwight Mannsburden was apparently not available.
The original investigation by Sky News revealed that the fake names were actually some of the more reputable signatories. At least they were doctors, albeit imaginary ones. The list also included every kind of quack, crank and self-professed expert you can imagine: homeopaths, massage therapists, hypnotists, and one guy who claims to cure disease through song.
From the comments: “Also on the list: Dr Harold Shipman. This one’s a legit physician and also one of the most prolific serial killers of all time.”
“Things that have never been done before”? What could that mean? Is he going to read a book?
Those who support him viewed this positively, much as the Catholic Church viewed the priest who defiled his altar with consenting adult women and avoided little boys. Trump’s entourage rejoiced that he merely said “fuck” and avoided the n-word.
It has kind of a “Jack Torrance at the Overlook” vibe.
The President posed for two pictures of him “hard at work.” They were staged photo-ops, shot a few minutes apart, using two different back-drops. His activity can be seen in one of them. He is scribbling his signature with a thick marker.
Congratulation to great friend of the Kazakh people @realDonaldTrump for winning debate today! Impressive and amazing result for a strong premier who always put America and Kazakhstan first! pic.twitter.com/qLljQ8b5UU
It’s not just that he has to worry about being arrested or poisoned by Pontius Putin, but is Siberia the place for his wardrobe? I’m not one to claim to understand the divine will, but if I were going to spend the day in robes and sandals, I’d make my long-awaited reappearance in Hawaii.
Righteous math! As I have noted previously, we have now lost more people to the coronavirus in a few months than the U.S. Army lost fighting Hitler in the full 3 1/2 years of the war in Europe and the Mediterranean.
So by Trump’s logic, Hitler affected virtually nobody in the USA.
The predicted death toll for the virus through the end of this year is almost identical to the number we lost in the entire second world war, including all branches of service in all theaters of operation.