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Category: Nonsense

“Rachel Maddow Claims New Audio Damning Enough To Pad Out Entire Week’s Worth Of Shows”

“Rachel Maddow Claims New Audio Damning Enough To Pad Out Entire Week’s Worth Of Shows” It’s The Onion

Shy Congressman Wishes Other Lawmakers Would Include Him In Their Crimes

“Shy Congressman Wishes Other Lawmakers Would Include Him In Their Crimes” (This one really is The Onion.)

Great news! Asbestos is back, baby!

Great news! Asbestos is back, baby! Fuck you and that “love sweet love” crap, Burt Bacharach. What the world really needs now is  asbestos, sweet asbestos. Once again I have to point out that this is not from… Read More

Fox host asks how Trump is supposed to talk to Mueller if he can’t lie

Fox host asks how Trump is supposed to talk to Mueller if he can’t lie Once again, real life and The Onion are indistinguishable. This one is real. “How in the world could he ever cooperate, and sit… Read More

A Republican congressman from Pennsylvania is bragging about a fake pro-Israel award he got from Sacha Baron Cohen

A Republican congressman from Pennsylvania is bragging about a fake pro-Israel award he got from Sacha Baron Cohen

In times like these, we need real superheroes – like the Religious Liberty Task Force

In times like these, we need real superheroes – like the Religious Liberty Task Force

Silent Bob has moved from a c-store to a weed dispensary

Silent Bob has moved from a c-store to a weed dispensary  

“If you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card, you need ID”

Trump: “If you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card, you need ID” You can see how he is truly a man of the people! Trump even manages to screw… Read More

Gwyneth Doesn’t Get Why People Hate Her So Much

Gwyneth Doesn’t Get Why People Hate Her So Much

Yesterday was National Orgasm Day in the U.K.

Yesterday was National Orgasm Day in the U.K. This year a women in Leeds was chosen to have their nation’s sole annual orgasm.

“Sessions Vows To Protect All Deeply Held Religious Bigotry”

“Sessions Vows To Protect All Deeply Held Religious Bigotry”

Lindsay Lohan is getting her own reality show

Lindsay Lohan is getting her own reality show Another long national nightmare is over. (Or has just begun. These days who can tell?)

Panicking Mark Zuckerberg Holds Press Conference Explicitly Welcoming Armenian Genocide Deniers To Facebook

“Panicking Mark Zuckerberg Holds Press Conference Explicitly Welcoming Armenian Genocide Deniers To Facebook”

“The 10 best Lines from the Bruce Willis Roast”

“The 10 best lines from the Bruce Willis Roast” I thought Jeff Ross had the funniest line, but it didn’t make the list. “Bruce Willis looks like Sir Patrick Stewart – if he ran a ferris wheel.” I… Read More

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You’ve Never Heard Of

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You’ve Never Heard Of

Sacha Baron Cohen Punks Roy Moore With ‘Pedophile Detector’

Sacha Baron Cohen Punks Roy Moore With ‘Pedophile Detector’

Trump regularly makes appointments for the day based on what “Fox and Friends” decides to cover that morning.

“Trump regularly makes appointments for the day based on what ‘Fox and Friends’ decides to cover that morning.” Another illustration of how one can no longer distinguish between real stories and The Onion. This one is real.

End of an era: Necco wafers have ceased production

End of an era: Necco wafers have ceased production “They were manufactured by the New England Confectionery Company (hence “NECCO”), the Boston candy makers who claimed they were the “oldest continuously operating candy company” in the land, even… Read More

“Wasilla cannabis festival investigated for allowing pot consumption”

“Wasilla cannabis festival investigated for allowing pot consumption” Man, those Alaskan cops are sharp. You can’t sneak anything past them.

I think I’ve found my next wife

I think I’ve found my next wife (Really unsafe for work.)

6 Totally Insane Sequels You Had No Idea Existed

6 Totally Insane Sequels You Had No Idea Existed The Jetsons now live in a dystopia!

Another reboot of Charlie’s Angels!

Our long national nightmare is over. There will be another reboot of Charlie’s Angels

The left is flush with outrage over a fake interview.

The left is flush with outrage over a fake interview. Allie Beth Stuckey did a fake “interview” with progressive darling Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Seen below) It is precisely the same technique that Seth Meyers uses in substituting fake questions to Sarah… Read More

Zoo accused of painting donkeys to look like zebras

Zoo accused of painting donkeys to look like zebras

ICE Opens New Supermax Detention Center For Most Hardened Toddlers

“ICE Opens New Supermax Detention Center For Most Hardened Toddlers”

“Sean Spicer’s New Book Is Apparently Littered With Dumb Errors”

“Sean Spicer’s New Book Is Apparently Littered With Dumb Errors” Outrageous claims, utter bullshit and factual errors? That’s not the Sean Spicer I know!

Woman’s quest to grow the world’s largest bum with 15 jars of Nutella a month

Woman’s quest to grow the world’s largest bum with 15 jars of Nutella a month

“The secret of longevity: fat, sugar and booze”

“The secret of longevity: fat, sugar and booze” Turns out Rush Limbaugh is immortal!

Belgian nude beach blocked on fears sexual activity could spook wildlife

Belgian nude beach blocked on fears sexual activity could spook wildlife

“R. Kelly Releases Emotional New Song Thanking Fans For Continued Acceptance Of Sex Crimes”

“R. Kelly Releases Emotional New Song Thanking Fans For Continued Acceptance Of Sex Crimes”