It’s not really that funny, although it has a few laughs, but it’s so accurate in both voice and appearance that you’re tempted at first to think they tapped Britt to parody herself. Then you see the blue eyes.



Sort of related:

The latest Hannity talking point is that Biden is “Jacked-Up Joe,” implying that his SOTU address was delivered under the influence of uppers.

Jacked-Up Joe sounds like the best coffee ever!

“The underwear was supposedly sold to a strip club where the owner plans to use them in a shrine he is making for Prince Harry

Quoth the maven:

“I don’t see this as disrespectful. It’s a reminder of a time when he was the ‘Fun-loving party prince’ and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Wait. I thought Andrew was the fun-loving party prince. If there are two, do they have to try to kill one another, like Highlanders?

Selena’s protruding nipple is approached by her typically unkempt boyfriend. His thighs are sore after a hard day of crouching under a bridge preying on billy goats. Did you ever wonder what haunts Freddy Kruger’s dreams? It’s this guy. Ya gotta figure that he calls her “my precious.”

I used to find him inspirational, a beacon of hope for a world full of men who do not look like Idris Elba or Paul Walker. His success with Selena made me dream of an elysian future with Halle Berry. Then I thought about it and realized Drunken Stepfather is probably right – Selena is probably dating him to harvest his organs.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is actually attending a DOUBLE-DOUBLE bullshit event in London: two swanky bullshit sponsors (British Vogue and Tiffany & Co), celebrating two vain bullshit professions – fashion and film.

Check out Vogue’s vacuous description, which makes the writers for Entertainment Tonight seem more recondite than Umberto Eco:

“And while an ice storm’s worth of Tiffany & Co. diamonds ensured the evening exceeded its glamour quotient, Annabel’s was given a Vogue makeover for the occasion, too. Ferried from the Royal Festival Hall to Berkeley Square in a fleet of BMWs, guests stepped into a club filled with rose-and-mimosa sculptures courtesy of Blooming Haus and scented with Diptyque’s cult Vetiver candles. Among those posing for photographers before the Blooming Haus floral installations? Dua Lipa, whose Tiffany & Co. jewels, lit by the flicker of Diptyque candles, were almost outshone by her smile. Awaiting guests inside the Mayfair members’ club: flutes of chilled Laurent Perrier champagne.”

After the event, they probably salved their consciences by donating the half-spent Diptyque candles to the homeless, to add a sumptuous scent to the trash fires in their oil drums. Oh, I’m probably misjudging the glitterati. They can’t be as frivolous and narcissistic as I picture them. They were probably pooling their resources to solve world hunger while devouring caviar by the shimmering light of those divine Diptyque candles.

Anyway, here’s Rosie:

image host

What you can’t see in the picture above, but can in the gallery, is the fact that she didn’t wear anything on the lower half of her body but short-shorts and hose, as if she raided the Joey Heatherton Collection from the 1960s – the perfect ensemble for London in February.

The gallery also added some pics of Rosie at another SBE in Paris.

“At first glance the clips could easily be taken as the work of a zealous Star Wars fan with a penchant for beer and a little too much time on their hands. However, against all odds, the ads appear to be real, as evidenced by legal documents spotted by Gizmodo Australia on the Chilean Consejo de Autorregulación y Etica Publicitaria (Self-Regulation and Advertising Ethics Council) website, which detailed Lucasfilm’s grievances with the campaign.”

They were produced back in 2003, but went viral this past week.

I understand why Lucasfilm is upset, but I think the two parties should figure out a way to settle, because these ads are kinda awesome and should resume.

Does it look like Phil? Well, there is something in the hair (tonight. Oh, Lord).


I don’t remember any mention of Phil in the Bible, but if there is, it’s probably in the book of Genesis.

(He did write and sing a Genesis song called “Jesus He Knows Me.”)

Go crazy, because “real life is for March.”

That clip left out some of my favorite parts, like when Alec Baldwin is visited by the ghosts of Leap Day Past, Present and Future. The dyed-in-the-wool Republican is horrified to see what happens in a future created by his parental neglect. Because he tried to make more money on Leap Day instead of spending time with his daughter, he must face his worst nightmare: she grows up to work for Habitat for Humanity!

I have a real soft spot for this episode of 30 Rock, which I would rank among the top twenty sitcom episodes of all time. (Where is Chuckles the Clown now that we really need him?)

In addition to Leap Day and Chuckles, some of my other nominees:

The series finale of Blackadder. Funny and touching.

The “Communication Problems” episode of Fawlty Towers.

“The Contest” on Seinfeld.

“Flowers For Charlie” on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

“The Spanish Inquisition” on Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

“The Doll” on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

“Turkeys Away” and “Commercial Break” (the Mr. Ferryman episode) on WKRP in Cincinnati.

“Arthur After Hours” on The Larry Sanders Show.

“Kissing Your Sister” on Veep.

“Louie Goes Too Far” on Taxi.

My lowbrow darkhorse: “Castaways Pictures Presents” on Gilligan’s Island. The castaways find a camera and film, so they make a zero-budget movie and send it off on a raft or something. It is discovered, but does not help them get rescued. Their consolation prize: The French love their chaotic, incomprehensible gibberish, and it wins the Palme d’Or at Cannes.

No special episode, but any MASH appearance by Colonel Flagg. (I just never found MASH to be that funny, although it occasionally tugged at my heartstrings.)

I’m sure that I must be forgetting many. “The Adventures of Pete and Pete” isn’t a traditional sitcom. It’s an afternoon kiddie show from Nickelodeon, but I’d probably nominate at least three episodes from that show, which may be my favorite comedy of all time. I’d mention some episodes of Arrested Development and the underrated Go On (which one of you turned me on to), but I can’t immediately separate the episodes in my head.

‘Mary Poppins’ age rating increased in U.K. due to ‘discriminatory language’”

The objectionable word is “Hottentot.”

From context, I knew that the “Hottentots” were an African group of some kind, but I didn’t know exactly what a Hottentot was until today, and I didn’t know it was a disparaging term. There is a scene in Mary Poppins where some stuffy old fart insults the chimney sweeps by comparing their blackened faces to Hottentots. Frankly, as I listen to that with today’s ears, I think it would be offensive even if “Hottentot” were the accepted name for that ethnic group. I guess things were different in 1964, when white people could get by with all kinds of racist shit.

As the good lord intended. (Or so they thought at the time.)

“Colorado high schoolers Jaxson Remmick and Gavin Hamann have already won a pair of national championships in the American Cornhole League. This fall, both head to South Carolina to play Division One cornhole.”

Pickleball is next!

In fact, pickleball makes more sense than this.

How long before division one Twister?

It may seem that Hallmark and the candy companies invented this holiday, but the celebration of this feast on Feb 14th dates back 1500 years

Saint Valentine of Rome was martyred on February 14 in AD 269. The Feast of Saint Valentine, also known as Saint Valentine’s Day, was established by Pope Gelasius I in AD 496 to be celebrated on February 14.

Of course that feast originally had nothing to do with romance. St. Valentine was the patron saint of funny hats. I made that up, of course, but the truth is almost as silly. He was the patron saint of epilepsy and beekeeping.

The feast acquired its modern meaning about 600 years ago, and the romantic associations were either invented by or first documented by ol’ Jeff Chaucer himself: “For this was on seynt Volantynys day Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.” (The last three words would be “choose his mate” in modern English. The rest is self-explanatory.)

The fact that Chaucer was the first to mention the romantic angle could have happened because Chaucer was pretty much the only significant English author in that era, and few came before him. That was an era when few were literate and those who could read and write were generally reading and transcribing classical texts and sacred works. The printing press had not yet been invented. Anybody who scribbled an original thought, and was in a position to distribute it to literate people, could rise immediately to second place on the most-read list. (The Bible had a centuries-old stronghold on the top spot.) It is therefore possible that the association of Valentine’s Day with romance existed undocumented for centuries before Chaucer wrote about it.

Both Shakespeare and John Gay commented on Chaucer’s reference to the mating birds of St. Valentine’s Day.

  • Shakespeare wrote in A Midsummer Night’s Dream (around 1590): “Saint Valentine is past. Begin these wood birds but to couple now?”
  • John Gay wrote in The Shepherd’s Week (1714): “Last Valentine, the day when birds of kind their paramours with mutual chirpings find.”

The weather of England must have been quite mild in those days if they associated February 14th with chirping birds.

The printing press appeared in the century after Chaucer’s, and soon thereafter came the earliest surviving, well-documented “Be My Valentine” note that we know of, in a subsequently published letter that Margery Brews wrote to her fiancé John Paston in 1477, calling him her “right well-beloved valentine.

In the original text: “Unto my ryght welebelovyd Voluntyn, John Paston, Squyer, be this bill delyvered.”

Bottom line: That lovey-dovey Valentine crap has been in the English-speaking world for a good while, since long before Whitman invented the sampler.

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Most macabre St. Valentine trivia:

The flower-crowned alleged skull of St. Valentine is exhibited in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome.