Category: Nonsense
“WCW Wanted Buff Bagwell To Die In A Plane Crash And Become A Ghost For An Angle”
My personal favorite “bad gimmick” was when Kevin Sullivan went out to the ocean and conjured the Purple Haze, a demon from hell or the dark side of the moon or some such place to be his partner in a tag team match against the mighty Road Warriors. Never mind that the Haze looked exactly like veteran wrestler Maniac Marc Lewin, and later turned out to have a thick New York accent. That’s not the good part. What was best about it is that they actually filmed the Haze rising out of the sea, so we were supposed to believe that Sullivan really was partnered with a supernatural power, the very spawn of Satan himself …
and he still lost to the Road Warriors.
Just goes to show you Satan isn’t what he used to be.
“For $5,000 You Can Hunt Bigfoot With Jose Canseco”
Or vice-versa.
Cruise is filming on an aircraft carrier, and the crew is not to make eye contact with the holy one.
I’m not sure I buy into this story, but …
by the way, how much does the Navy charge to use a Nimitz-class carrier for a freakin’ movie? I hope it’s a shitload so I’m not picking up the tab through my taxes and the military budget.
Update from the comments section:
How much they charge depends on how valuable to the cause of the military they think the movie might be. In the case of a Top Gun II, given Top Gun was the single best Navy Recruitment movie ever made, I’d be willing to the navy paying *them*!
But a story that was on the LD release from the navy liaison about the opening scene of flight ops preparing as the sun rose is interesting. The carrier started to turn into the wind and the sun went sailing off the side of the ship. The director was all ‘My light! I’ve got to have that gorgeous light, we need to then the ship back.” The liaison told him that he could request it of the captain, but he’d have to charge him a per hour fee for interfering with operations, and quoted an enormous number. The director said he only needed 15 minutes. They pointed out the aircraft carrier was the size of a town and would need to stop, maneuver back. Wait, maneuver back again, and it was going to use up most of an hour. I think they quoted him 100K+ for it. He “had to have his light” and agreed. But he said that he was pretty sure the navy decided that if it was that important to him he’d pay 100k, they could let it go this time, and he got his shot.
It’s not a very exciting conspiracy theory.
I was hoping maybe the walls of the Twin Towers were made out of Chuck E Cheese crusts, or the animatronic mouse was used by the Illuminati to exchange messages, or Hillary Clinton was running a pedophile ring through the franchise.
The one time when the phrase “cheese it, the cops” might have made sense. Where are Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall now that we need them?
One fan tweeted, “It turns out that Will Smith’s Aladdin Genie will haunt my nightmares.”
Tommy Wiseau (the guy who created and starred in The Room) has another movie in the pipeline
Trailer below:
“Tommy shows us that Big Shark will deliver even more of his patented weird portrayals of male friendship unfolding in close proximity to strikingly generic buildings.”
Conan seems to be going for a whole new vibe with the new short show. This is raunchy stuff.
(And the change is a good idea, in my opinion, because his old show was getting tired.)
Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) pledged this week in her campaign kickoff that she would never stop fighting everyday Americans. “I will stand up to the common man—with my fists,” said Klobuchar, asserting that she would take on all Americans—rich, poor, black, white, straight, or gay—in an all-out brawl until every last one was bleeding and unconscious. “As president, I promise the American people an open exchange of blows. I will not hold back in beating every citizen to a pulp. Just like I’ve fought tooth and nail against the people of Minnesota.”
(The Onion)
Ron Swanson was molested by a pedophile
Of course he was so tough that the cops should have arrested HIM.
Among the useful/useless things I learned from this article: there is an Emojipedia.
“Former WWE rookie and alternative model Shotzi Blackheart, real name Ashley Urbanski, has been offering her devoted fans on social media the chance to purchase photos of her poo – and it seems they are more than happy to oblige her.”
At last, the pinnacle of human achievement. It’s all downhill from here.