I look at beautiful women during most of my waking hours, but even among all of those glorious sights, I think Rosamund Pike is exceptionally beautiful.

Our attraction to others is unpredictable, isn’t it? I suppose Ms. Pike is no more or less beautiful than Anna Kendrick, but Pike does it for me, and Kendrick does not. I really like Anna Kendrick’s personality, her acting, her singing and her humor, but a still picture of her just gets me moving on quickly to something else.

VICTORIA SINITSINA is a Russian figure skater who flashed her nipples in Laval, Quebec.

“While you Americans are fighting each other on everything political … us Canadians are jerking off to Figure Skating on TV … in our Igloos”

Very quaint!

Off-topic, except the topic of quaintness, I dated a woman in England who asked me, “Why do you Americans always call us quaint? We don’t get it.”

I said, “Your policemen wear white gym socks while riding bicycles. They don’t carry guns. Now THAT is pretty fucking quaint.”

She laughed heartily.

Then dumped me.

As the Good Lord, in His mercy, intended.

In other news, I am now Rabbi Scoopy. In fact, I am a “rabbi plus,” because unlike those other rabbis who hava nagila, I actually have two nagilas.

That’s my motto: “two nagilas, no waiting.”

And I’m proud to announce that I have been nominated for a third nagila.

Mazel tov.

This Pence rabbi is pretty much the ultimate con artist. In the mainstream of Judaism, anyone who accepts Jesus as his savior would not be of the Jewish faith at all, but the Christian. Since those people are actually Christian, therefore nobody of the Jewish faith accepts Christ as a savior, therefore all Jews are going to hell to spend eternity with their fellow horned creature, the devil.

Pretty standard Nazi position. (Not to mention pre-Nazi anti-Semitism).

One clarification to this philosophy: somebody who is Jewish by heritage, ancestry and culture can go to heaven, as long as they are Christian by faith. This is one place where this so-called rabbi would differ from Hitler, who wanted to root out Jewish blood as well as Jewish religious belief.

Well, I guess they would also part ways on the whole genocide thing.

But here’s the real kicker: this guy was conducting a prayer for those who fell in the synagogue massacre. They were mainstream Jews. None of them had accepted Jesus, of course. Therefore, he was speaking at a memorial service about people whom he has condemned to hell! Talk about providing comfort to their families!

To real Jewish people, this guy who calls himself a rabbi is simply running a scam to convert Jews to Christianity. (Hey, the fundies think they can convert gay people to straight. Compared to that, converting Jews to Christianity should be a walk in the park.) What was his training to be a rabbi? He graduated from the Jewish studies program at the Moody Bible Institute, and holds a bachelor’s degree in biblical studies from Northeastern Bible College, neither of which bears much resemblance to rabbinical training. (They are both Christian institutions. What a surprise!)

“After years of wondering about how dry cleaning works, Seinfeld recently ventured into a library and searched through dark and mildewing shelves of the reference section until he found an accursed book about industrial garment care. As he read the ancient tome, the hapless stand-up’s eyes widened in shock and tears streamed down his face while his mouth formed into a rictus grin of horrified delight. Hours later he put down the book and maniacally cackled, “I understand the deal now. I understand the deal with dry cleaning!”

I think we can all be thankful that he never learned what the deal was with airline peanuts.