“I just can’t believe they were there for some measly papers instead of the large pile of skulls that sits in the middle of the Grand Ballroom, or the still-decomposing arms and legs that protrude from sand traps all over the golf course. But good for me! If they want to haul a bunch of boxes out of that place while walking upon the shallow, unmarked graves of people I’ve had tortured and killed, what do I care?”

Another great Onion headline:

Trump Boys Thrilled FBI Seized Documents, Leaving Dozens Of Empty Boxes To Play In”