Or as I might normally describe it:

Bill Clinton – usual shenanigans

Bubba says he was never on the island at all. Now Clinton, unlike Trump, will never just fabricate some total bullshit. Bubba’s go-to move is the old “parsing my words” trick, so you know he probably has some kind of sophistry up his proverbial sleeve. It’s probably some crap like this: “Yes, my shoes were on the island, but I never took them off while outdoors, so my body technically was not.”

Or he could be telling the truth.

Nah.

While getting her hair combed.

I rarely bring my hair groomer to the pool, and when I do, I don’t generally let him work while I’m still in the water because I hate paying the upcharge. Life is different if you are a Kardashian. I assume she has two pool groomers – one actually in the pool, as shown here, to be used after every time she dips her head in, and another standing on the sidelines, ever ready with a hair dryer.

Trump suggests postponing the election. Obviously this is not consistent with his stated belief that he’s actually ahead in the polls.

Even if he had the power to do that (he does not), it would not work out as he planned. His term of office expires in January, whether there is an election or not. That is also true of the House and 1/3 of the Senate.

The Constitution reads, “The terms of the President and the Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January.”

On January 20, with no President or Vice-President or Speaker of the House, the Chief Justice would swear in the Senate’s President Pro Tempore as the next President of the United States. Since the Senate would, at that time, have 35 Democrats and 30 Republicans, and since the position is elected by the Senate, the President would be a Democrat. By custom, the Senate has elected the longest-standing member of the majority party to the post, but that is not a legal or constitutional requirement. Given the unique hypothetical scenario, the most likely choices would be Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris. (Bernie is not well liked and is only kinda-sorta a Democrat, while Cory Booker would not be eligible since his term would have expired in this theoretical scenario.)

So even if Trump did manage to delay the election, he would most likely have the humiliating experience of watching the inauguration of his arch-enemy, President Pocahontas. (Or perhaps worse in his eyes, a woman of color!) Of course, they would only be able to hold office until the actual election is conducted, at which time the winner would be inaugurated.

I might also note that I don’t think either of those women would be particularly lenient in the pardon department when Trump is eventually sentenced for his crimes. I think they would not hesitate to ship him off to the calaboose. He’d be much better off taking his chances with President Joe Biden, who is a soft-hearted cuss.

NOTE #1: in some states the governor may appoint a replacement senator in the case of a vacancy. Therefore, the GOP might be able to hold on to the Senate, depending on the appointments between Jan 3 and Jan 20, in which case the new President of the USA would be the Republican President Pro Tempore of the Senate. Heaven only knows who they would choose.

NOTE #2: Various scholars argue that the states can proceed with House and Senate elections even if there is no Presidential option. In that case, the Speaker of the House of Representatives could become President. The House is under no legal or constitutional obligation to choose a member as its Speaker, so the temporary President of the USA could literally turn out to be anyone. It might be Pelosi, but it could even be Crooked Hillary! (If I were in the House, I might consider trying to get the body to elect James Comey as its Speaker! But that’s just me.)

And, of course, your lusted ones as well as your loved ones. May they never meet on this most sacred of holidays.

Well, OK, maybe National Orgasm Day is not more sacred on the Scoopy Calendar than Shatner’s Birthday or Giant Pink Japanese Penis Day. That’s debatable, depending on which specific branch of Scoopianity you subscribe to. It’s like Christians arguing whether Easter is more sacred than Christmas.

Per the site:

In a new theoretical study appearing in Nature Scientific Reports, a pair of statistical researchers have warned that rampant human consumption has sent us on a tailspin towards a rapid catastrophic collapse — which could happen in the next two to four decades. Forest density, or the current lack thereof, is considered the cataclysmic canary in the coal mine, according to the report.

Frankly I don’t know how seriously I should take this, and I don’t have the time to study it, but this and the recent “covid could last for decades” news, with its corollary implications for our new normal routines, lead me to wonder if my generation was the one to experience “peak human life” and that it will never be as easy again.

She took off her clothing only once for a film role, and that when she was 47 years old, in Gypsy Moths.

image host

Of course she really could not have done much nudity when she was younger, because there simply was none to speak of for mainstream actresses before 1965, when she was already in her mid 40s.

She was possibly the most distinguished actress of the 1950s. From 1950 until 1961, a span of twelve years, she was nominated for the Best Actress Oscar six times, including three in a row. In the 1957-59 period, she received acting honors for four different films: The King and I; Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison; Separate Tables; Tea and Sympathy. The first three earned her Oscar nominations and the other earned her BAFTA and NYFC nominations.

Despite the esteem in which she was held, she never won any of those Oscars. She remains to this day the record-holder for the most Best Actress nominations without a win. (Glenn Close has been nominated for seven Oscars without a win, but several of those were in the Best Supporting Actress category.)

It’s too bad that Kerr had to wind down her distinguished career in this cheesy, old-fashioned melodrama with a plot and pace better suited for a few weeks of Days of Our Lives. It pushes the usual 1950s theme of local home-spun values contrasted to the free and modern thinking of the outside world, as symbolized by traveling performers. Burt Lancaster typically delivers all of his lines as if he were a professor lecturing a required freshman oratory class in a large auditorium, and Scott Wilson is so laid-back that he may actually have been sleepwalking. Gene Hackman does manage to deliver a performance in the realistic, modern style, but that alone couldn’t hold my attention.