Some of his classics:

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe

“My grandfather always said, ‘Don’t watch your money; watch your health.’ So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.”

“I always thought music was more important than sex – then I thought if I don’t hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn’t bother me.”