This scene is a combination of Natalie Portman and a body double. In the bottom row of the collage, the two pics on the left are Portman while the three on the right are a double named Caroline Davis. Davis was paid to dive into the freezing lake in Northern Ireland.

That’s some seamless doubling. Those two women look very similar.

Straw man o’ the day: some people have argued that it can’t be Portman at all because she was pregnant. This is an incorrect assumption based on the release dates of Black Swan and Your Highness. In fact, Your Highness was filmed between July and October of 2009, and Black Swan was actually filmed AFTER Your Highness, from December 2009 until February 2010. That means Portman had not yet even met her future husband when the Your Highness scene was lensed. Portman’s son was born in June of 2011.

I guess it should be obvious, if for no other reason than the speaker is Louis Gohmert and he’s pretty much always confused, but Gohmert is confusing “hate crimes” and “hate speech.” In order be charged with a hate crime, you have to first … (can you guess ) … commit a crime.

Hate SPEECH is not a crime. It is protected by the First Amendment. Yes, it is possible to argue that pastors will be accused of hate speech if they preach racist or homophobic dogma from their pulpits, but they can’t be accused of a hate crime unless they actually commit some crime. They’re pretty safe unless they follow up a homophobic sermon by shooting up a gay bar, or telling their parishioners to.

(SIDEBAR: I suppose that in countries where certain forms of hate speech are ipso facto illegal, religious leaders of all faiths can commit criminal acts simply by offering a sermon or counseling.)

4Chan and 8Chan stand behind Tucker as does the former grand wizard of the KKK, a prominent white supremacist, who agrees with the Tuck-man that there are no white supremacists! It’s all “a ZioMedia conspiracy theory.” (He should have mentioned that there are no anti-Semites either!)

A commenter on one of the Chans even urges Carlson to run against Trump in the primaries!

That makes sense. I support that 100%, but not in the primaries. It needs to be in the general.

I pointed out months ago exactly how the Democrats could defeat Trump, and it’s pretty much guaranteed to work. They should secretly finance a white male from the lunatic far right to challenge Trump, not in the primaries, which mean nothing, but as a third party candidate in the general. Make sure he has enough financing and infrastructure to get on the ballot in all the purple and red states. He should go full Jesus in his oratory, and his positions should be overt versions of all the racist and other far-right positions that Trump only hints at. This guy would not condemn “send her back.” That’s for pussies. He would make it his slogan, and have some redneck write a country song by that name! The trick, of course, would be to keep the source of his financing a secret. People have to think that the campaign is completely sincere.

I’ll bet you he would take five to ten percent of the vote in the red and purple states. That would throw all the purple states to the Dems, and maybe even swing some Red states, like Texas, that are starting to get cold feet about the whole white supremacist movement.

Of course the Dems would never do this because, unlike me, they are not sufficiently ruthless, unscrupulous and unprincipled. LBJ would have done that, because he knew how to kick some elephant ass, but the new Dems think they can defeat Trump with compassion, sincerity, healing crystals and the promise of big-time giveaways. Their debates sound like the fokkin’ Oprah show. “You get a car! You get a free health plan! You get a free PhD! Did I mention you get a car?”

Good luck with that. In the immortal words of the great Ric Flair, “If you wanna BE the man, you gotta BEAT the man.” And that hippie-socialist line ain’t beatin’ anyone. Trump eats that shit for breakfast, just before he bathes in the blood of adorable, freshly-killed golden retriever puppies.

Our hero:

Way to go Hickenlooper! Six months ago, nobody knew who you were. Now they know, and really don’t care.

(Even Bennet, deBlasio and the hippie chick are at 0.3!)

The poor Looper seems like a decent guy. He’s the kindly uncle who would slip you a few extra bucks on your birthday when your aunt was out of hearing range. I don’t suppose that’s an especially good quality in a successful politician. They’re usually a little more ruthless. If Trump were your uncle and your aunt was out of sight, he’d probably swipe your wallet, then later call you a broke loser when you couldn’t ante for the family poker game.

The good news: Looper’s logo doesn’t say which office he is pursuing in 2020, so he won’t need a new logo to run for senator or sports director or whatever comes next in his illustrious career.

Elsewhere on the page, among the people we might care about, Pocahontas has outpolled Bernie in the two most recent polls, 18-13 and 21-14.

“‘Sure, I’ve been able to hurt a lot of everyday Americans during my time in the Senate carrying out the Republican Party’s destructive vision, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes ask myself whether I could’ve done more to increase suffering in this country if I’d worked as an oil lobbyist or mining sector CEO,’ said McConnell, who admitted that he often lies awake at night pondering the lives he could’ve ruined if he hadn’t entered the public sector at such a young age.”

(The Onion)