I scanned through this series and there was very little true nudity. This little peek at beautiful Adriana Ugarte was the best nude scene, and it’s not that good. In the rest of the series, there are just incidental peeks – slight transparency, a flash of areola – that kind of thing. There’s a general lack of commitment to flesh. This Spanish series seemed to have a fairly interesting premise, but I just don’t have time to watch it in real time. I gather that it’s sort of a “Dexter in reverse” premise – a police officer has to track down a serial killer who only murders really evil dudes.

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UPDATE: added .gifs

This is John Cena’s new series, in which he plays “a merciless killer who believes in achieving peace at any cost; a superhero/supervillain – the world’s biggest douchebag.” Three episodes were released Thursday, with some nudity in the first two.

Crystal Mudry in episode 1 (.gif)

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Alison Araya in episode 2 (.gif)

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Just for discussion, of course.

The list excludes:

Duck Soup
The Big Lebowski
Blazing Saddles
Spinal Tap
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Life of Brian

That said, I’m OK with leaving in There’s Something About Mary, Airplane and Ground Hog Day.

Honorable mention:

Take The Money and Run
Ace Ventura
The Royal Tenenbaums
Night at the Opera
Animal House
Napoleon Dynamite
The Naked Gun
The Producers (original version)
The Mask

The movie itself disappointed me because I was expecting a twisty erotic femme fatale thriller, and it really turned out to be a splatter film in which the obligatory femme fatale is batshit crazy. The film revealed the mystery before the halfway point, then spent the last half with the main characters torturing, maiming and slashing one another

Not only is Shattered not that thrilling, but it’s not that erotic either. The nudity is disappointing.

  • The Lilly Krug sex scenes are dark and oddly edited.
  • Ash Santos is naked for about three frames, and she’s a corpse.
  • The naked yoga woman is pleasant to look at, but is just an unidentified extra whose scenes have no bearing on the plot other than to keep John Malkovich looking through a telescope so he can see other scenes which do relate to the plot. (Not that I mind totally gratuitous nudity. In fact, I encourage it.)

Of course, my low opinion is based on my expectations rather than on the film’s actual presentation. I wanted a twisty thriller. I wanted good nudity. I got neither. If you want to see splatter, you might like it more than I did. Some people seemed to like it. It has a most respectable 6.4 rating at IMDb, although that is based on a mere 87 votes, and the more reliable rating from the top 1000 voters is 3.7, which is more in line with my evaluation.

This cheap-jack quickie may mark the low point of John Malkovich’s career. He plays a low-rent hustler and peeping tom. That said, he did bring some creative touches, some humor, and his usual weird energy to the film, which made him the best thing about it. (Although I would have voted for Lilly Krug if her sex scenes had featured some clear nudity, because she’s a mighty fine-lookin’ woman and she even managed to out-weird John Malkovich.)

naked yoga woman

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Ash Santos

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Lilly Krug

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