Football players suspended from team for running naked with Oreos wedged in buttocks

If ever there was a fundamental human right …

UPDATE: from the comments section:

“Dark days are these indeed. We would do well to remember the Niemoller quote:
‘When they came for the men with Oreos up their asses, I said nothing because I did not have an Oreo up my ass …’”

Virginia Madsen in the tub in Candyman (1992)

Great musical starring Sammy Davis, Jr., who sang the title song.

Just fuckin’ witcha. It’s a horror film starring Tony Todd. It’s based on an excellent Clive Barker story. The movie doesn’t really make sense (although the original Barker plot was tight), but it’s good genre fare if you ignore the plot holes, and the Candyman became a horror icon thanks to Todd’s powerful presence. My review.

How Havana is collapsing, building by building

If you talk to the old timers who got an opportunity to visit Havana before the revolution, they agree almost unanimously that Havana was the most fun place they ever visited – the dancing, the music, the gambling, the women, the joy of the Cuban spirit …

Thanks, Castro!

(You too, Obama – on general principles)

“Bad Sex in Fiction Award: Haruki Murakami, James Frey and Gerard Woodward among all-male shortlist”

My favorite:

Major Victor Cornwall and Major Arthur St John Trevelyan, “Scoundrels: The Hunt for Hansclapp”

“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.

I think the committee was hornswoggled on that one. I find it hard to believe that anyone could write that poorly unless they were intending to. It sure sounds like it was intended as a parody. If it is serious, it should be declared the winner by unanimous affirmation.

Either that or another awesome episode of The Office.

“In 2007, Kemper appeared in Blowjob Girl, a humor video on the sketch comedy site Derrick Comedy. The video quickly went viral, especially after it was featured on CollegeHumor. Looking back, she now regrets doing it.”

“I really don’t like that video, and I wish that I hadn’t done it, even though I know that it’s a joke. I hate that it got sort of big, because I don’t think that it’s that funny and I don’t want that to be the epitome of my work.”

Here is that video: